My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
