Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Can you bring me the toilet please
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
