Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
