whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
