The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
