Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
