Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
