The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
