I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
