I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
