they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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