Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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