in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
