no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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