Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
