I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
