I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
