Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Randomize
