bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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