Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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