Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
