My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
