hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
