Having a random hookup so left but love u
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
