how hairy? two words: wookie tits
handjob tips. give me some.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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