sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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