Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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