i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
