Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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