my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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