I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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