then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We are two peas in an std pod
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize