So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
