I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize