it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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