These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
