i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
