What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
