Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
