Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
