I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
In America we eat man semen.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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