So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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