We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she peed on how many people?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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