You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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