FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
