Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
