I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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