I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
