she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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