More tranny stories later!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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