am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
