i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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